It’s time for the conscript who lives here to go on scrubbing parade and then order something cool like this hard-wearing helvetica light house number from The House Number Shop.

Or I’ll have your sorry guts for supper, GI!

Flickr photo courtesy of pupski.

… then scrape it off and get something like this Hummingbird house number sign from the House Number Shop.

It’s okay, you’ll feel better when your new number is up and it doesn’t look like you live in an abandoned shack anymore.

Flickr photo courtesy of wilhei55.

If house numbers could scream, this one definitely would. Yes, if you live in a hot part of the country, your house number may be suffering from heat stroke. It’s quite easy to detect. The thing is turning to cinders before your eyes. Why not order a lovely round address sign from the House Number Shop? It’ll be so cool.

Flickr photo courtesy of quarsan.

If your house numbers are on the decrease then it’s time to think about getting one that won’t fall off, won’t get vandalized and will help people find your house. It’s really simple. Order a neat secure house number from the House Number Shop. It’s as easy as falling off a wall.

Flickr photo courtesy of dcsaint.

This here is a full-sized logging trolley with three logs on it. Painted on the end of the top log are the names of the occupants of the timber house in the background and the house number: 708 Oak Street.

Get it? Oak Street? A sign made of actual trees!

They must have more easy going postal carriers where they live, because our postal carrier would probably refuse to deliver mail if I tried to get away with something like that. I’d have to add a lawn house number from The House Number Shop, because I feel certain that we’d never get mail otherwise.

Flickr photo courtesy of suckamc:

If you live where the snow drives down and the wind blows it about, then it is definitely not advisable to have a house sign that lets snow collect and stick onto it. Get yourself a granite and pewter house number from The House Number Shop. You don’t want to miss out on those important holiday visitors.

Flickr photo courtesy of peremperes.

When you put a house number outside your house or apartment it’s really, really important to find out your address first. This house number is probably 36 BUT MAYBE NOT! It could be 38. Or 36 – 38. Or the door to 38 has been bricked. Or No 38 is upstairs. Or something.

Bottom line is, when ordering your brand new designer house number from The House Number Shop, it is advisable to find out your address first and order the correct number.

Flickr photo courtesy of pupski.

Here we have a classic case of numerical rotting disease (NRD) which afflicts mainly even numbers (though not prime numbers) and is specially vicious in multiples of fifteen, ten and five. This interesting case was brought to the attention of the NRD Emergency Clinic (NRD) of the NYHCCH who rushed to the scene with cameras and face masks. It wasn’t long before they had wrestled the number to the ground and placed it in a zipped bag. The owner of No 30 should consider a ceramic house number from The House Number Shop to avoid a long spell in a federal penitentiary for neglecting his number.

Flickr photo courtesy of pupski.

Some house numbers just give you the creeps and this is one of them. If this is how the house number looks, wonder what the house looks like inside? Time to fumigate, and time to get something like this Roffe metal house number from The House Number Shop.

Flickr photo courtesy of maskingtape.

This house number is telling the home-owner loud and clear: “I’m rusty and unreadable. Please retire me and order a replacement from The House Number Shop. They have metal, weather-proof house numbers to choose from. Now get your screwdriver and take me down.”